Time for a Re-New Not a Re-Do

With the beginning of a new year typically comes a new year’s resolution. That moment when many of us decide we have taken all we can take of what has been. We have done all we can do in a certain situation. So, we resolve to doing something new. We resolve to stop what we’ve been doing, to break a current habit, or to remove ourselves from something unhealthy. Most commonly we see resolutions directed at weight loss. This makes sense because the New Year comes right after Thanksgiving and Christmas; two holidays where suspending disciplines around eating seems like a requirement. Add to these traditions the COVID Season and we find an extended season that has taken a toll on many of us physically.

Ultimately, if we don’t name the issue or thing that is keeping us stuck, we can’t move forward. The lesson is not in overcoming of the opposition, but how we manage it. When you name the issue, you are able to acknowledge it. The issue or challenge you face is being met with equal resistance to the energy you are exerting to actually achieve the goal.

We have both been a part of that group for at least 30 years of our lives, who have written ‘lose weight’ as one of our new year’s resolutions. Over the years the desire to lose weight has created the weights of frustration, anxiety, and disappointment. There are those years when we meet goals and find  great joy in going down in clothes size. But then life shows up and we find ourselves right back to where we start. Or, we have those years when we set goals, make no progress at all, and get to the end of the year deeply discouraged by the reality of unmet desires. So, then the next year comes around and we add weight loss goals back to the list, just to repeat the same behaviors all over again. How can it be that this goal literally stays on our list, but no real progress is being made? Have these goals lost their importance? How committed were we really to these goals all those years ago? Perhaps what we really need is a refining, or a re-examination of sorts and a shift in perspective.

Maybe you too have had unfulfilled resolutions that keep appearing year after year on your list. How does seeing these goals unchecked impact your ability to move forward. For us, we realized that we were basically re-doing and reliving old behaviors and habits expecting a different outcome. We needed to collectively renew our minds in such a way that we would begin to see forward movement and momentum. We didn’t need a re-do, we needed a re-new!

So, whatever your resolution issues are, we invite you to get beyond re-doing to renewing. Here are some of the ways we have committed to renewing our lives.

·      We Renewed Our Minds: Acknowledging and exploring the things within ourselves that were keeping us stuck.

·      We Renewed Our Actions: Setting smaller goals to support the bigger goal. For example, if one of us was going to write a book, we would first set a small goal of writing a blog post or short stories that could be used towards book chapters. Taking baby steps takes the intimidation out of what is perceived as a big step.

·      We Renewed Our Supports: Identifying people we could trust to hold us accountable. People who would be willing to schedule a 30-minute check in call, send a text, or physically meet up to keep us on track in a certain area.

·      We Renewed Our Joy: Focusing on things that give us energy and make us feel good about ourselves without sabotaging the over-arching goal. Taking a walk together for instance, brings us joy. Having movie night or playing card games with our daughters, brings us joy. What brings you joy? Whatever it is, create space for positive energy to keep moving forward.

·      We Renewed Our Spirit: For us this was praying together, reading books, meditating, and just pausing; taking time to breathe and be in the moment. Replace frustration with intentionality. It brings appreciation for where you are and in what you have accomplished.

This new year is an opportunity to discover a new you. The beloved you. The amazing you. The gifted you. The valuable you. The worthy you. Don’t live in the discouragement of failed resolutions. Say yes today, to the discovery and liberation of the life of re-new.